Let’s be real.

 

How many times have you declared to yourself (possibly shouting from your cubicle <--I’ve been there): “I’M READY! This is my moment/month/year of transformation!!” ...only to fall back into the very same patterns that you’ve been trying so hard to overcome?

Whether it’s a daily intention, a New Year resolution or a life goal, there will always be obstacles and resistance in the way of real, lasting change. Often times these challenges can have you feeling discouraged, hopeless, tired and... well... sh*tty. When this happens, remember that you are still in control of your life and that we all need tools and support to help us along the way.

 

Here are 6 things you can do to make real lasting change in your life:

 

1. Make like Barbara Walters and ask the hard questions

Is fitting into those skinny jeans going to alter your universe?

What will quitting smoking/sugar/your job really do for you?

 

In order to make changes that last, you first need to ask what it is that you truly want... and then ask why you want it. Dig deep. You want to find the “why” that gets your heart beating and soul talking - you’ll know it when you feel it. The “why” has to be big enough to carry you through challenges and pitfalls. Once you have your “why,” check in on your goals to see if they align.

 

Next is to identify any triggers and patterns, and notice the emotions attached to them. For example, you may notice that you feel lonely or a lack of love right before you crave that pint of rocky road icecream. Perhaps you’re not feeling the love in your relationship, causing you to crave sweetness in other areas of your life. In this case, a goal of quitting sugar won’t last unless you find the love in your life.

 

2. Come clean

What is the story going through your head each day? Write down all the ways you see yourself failing and why. While positive thinking is all well and good, we need to acknowledge our self doubts and weaknesses so that they can be addressed in a healthy way. Come clean and let it all out. Be radically honest with yourself. Do this without judgement - be compassionately curious here. We tell ourselves stories all the time and when you see it on paper, it’s easier to see patterns and question the validity and truth behind them.

 

Ask yourself, what if the opposite were true?

 

3. Go small or go bust

It’s awesome to have huge aspirations, but often times our resolutions and goals can be so big and elusive that they become difficult to attain. Take your big intentions and break them down into bite size actionable steps. For example, going from the Standard American Diet (SAD) to raw vegan overnight is like jumping over a valley from one cliff to another in one leap - it’s risky but possible if you have, say, a paraglide and months of training. Not recommended for everyone.

Instead, traversing thru the valley one step at a time will ensure that you not only get to the other side more safely, but the journey will be highly educational and rewarding.

 

Ask yourself what is one small action you can take every day that fits within the bigger picture? Every step counts!

 

4. Have a clear vision for yourself

 

What are you working toward? What does it look and feel like? This is where a vision board can be really helpful - find images and words that fit with how you visualize yourself once you’ve already made the changes. Keep it somewhere that you’ll see every day. When we get really clear on how we want to look and feel, we start to internalize it and act the way our future selves would. This means acting as if you’ve already created lasting change and making decisions from that place, rather than the old version of yourself.

 

5. Ritualize and systematize

 

What needs to be in place to set you up for success?

 

6. Be kind and unwind

Keeping abreast of our daily action steps and goals can get a little overwhelming at times *total understatement*. Be kind to yourself in this process and carve out time to replenish. It’s just as constructive to take an hour for that candlelit lavender epsom salt bath as it is researching for that job interview. Don’t underestimate the basics in your self care! Balance is required.

 

There’s always the possibility of falling off the wagon and getting down on yourself. Be forgiving and make sure not to get too attached to results or outcome. Pick yourself up and get back into the game of life. It’s your unique journey, so appreciate every single moment and savor the victories.

​It's your turn to share... which one of these steps is one that you've struggled with before and what action are you going to take to make real lasting change in your life? Put it in the comments below!